Odd Christmas

It has been very hard for me to get in the Christmas spirit this year. We moved right before Thanksgiving into a house that I didn't want and that needed a lot of work. It was a really depressing time for me and if you don't believe me, just ask James. Poor guy had to live with me and listen to me cry and say that I didn't want to live in this house that we had already purchased and moved into. We got most of the work done before we moved in, but it is still a work in progress and of course there are still boxes that need to be unpacked and rooms that have nothing in them but chaos. I swear that since we have lived there I have walked into the office MAYBE twice and the room that will be the baby's room when we have one, not once.

All of this has really contributed to my blah Christmas spirit, but then I got a phone call from my Mom last week that really made things even worse.

I am the baby of three kids. My brother is 13 years older and my sister is 10 years older. My brother lives 6 hours away and has not been home for Christmas in years. We always see them at some point but it is usually after the new year before they are able to come, so Christmas goes on and then we have another Christmas when they show up. Our Christmas has really changed in the past couple of years because my sister has 4 children now and they decided that they would do Christmas morning at their house and then come to my Mom's later to do Christmas with the rest of us. James and I continued to go over to my Mom's Christmas morning and have our small Christmas before the rest of them showed up.

This year my brother and his wife are coming the day after Christmas and we are all very excited that they are coming. Despite the large age difference we are very close and my sister in law is awesome. We always have a great time when we see them. Since they are going to be here so soon after Christmas my Mom decided to put our Christmas on hold and wait for them to show up. It will be nice for us all to be together to do our Christmas but this leaves James and I alone on Christmas morning and that has been really hard for me. We have no babies to be excited about presents and me being the baby myself will be hard to not be with my parents.

I know that growing up is a part of life, but it feels like we are in a really odd spot this year. Young enough that we don't have children yet, but too old to be the children ourselves.

James has heard all of this, but I will never tell my parents how I feel and this is why they don't know that I have this blog. I need somewhere to vent and spill my feelings without hurting their feelings.

I'm glad that my brother is able to come and I'm so thankful for James and our little fur babies, it's just going to be so different and it really adds to the off mood that I have been in. I have some days off next week and I'm hoping that I can get some stuff done and maybe being alone for a bit with some wine will help out my mood. haha